The life of a real teen, many ups and downs...

SO school is getting better. As usual i over reacted. I talk to my friend more and im busy again and talk to a bunch of people in school. But another old problem has arisen... again.

Basically everytime i see this guy, i can't help but like him again. No matter how much i talk him down in my head or how much i even hate him sometimes, i fall for him everytime were in person. After seeing him, i was practically dying to text him or see him online. Luckily i refrained and havent talked to him till today. But god what i would do to be alone with him for just a few minutes again. I miss him a lot now and it's annoying me soo much cause i know it could never work and will only cause problems. Everything just seems to hard lately. Even work and my birthday and school is all so complicated. Nothing is going right.

So i've decided Im going to have Morals.

I need to set boundaries of my own, lines that i need to not cross. Give myself a general idea of where to stop.
Ive decided I wont do anything that I might later regret or that I need to keep secret. if i know i cant tell certain friends or on occasion my parents( ill rarely care about that though) then I simply wont do it.

I've been having fun doing what I wanted and it has gotten me into trouble and I've been upset with myself for it. I hate regretting what I've done. Keeping secrets from people i trust, and having guilt.

I refuse to cry over pass events as I've said. I'm starting over new. This summer will be a complete rebirth.
I will remain boy free untill the end of summer. If I do happen to do anything, he will be a guy at a legal age, and we will be in a relationship, no questions, no acceptions.

Final

Thats really the only thing that has been keeping me up. Tossing and turning at night.

All though i was up till like 3 last night doing things and thinking as usual cause the human brain is funny like that and the most intellectual insightful thoughts you can muster up always seem to come at bad times like in a car or in bed when you cant write.

I was thinking about my last boyfriend. How i let myself go waaaay to far. How i should have said no and did the things i really wanted to do instead of letting lust come into it.
I was stupid and i do regret it, but oh well no reason to dwell on it.

All for now.